When I go out on street walks with students, we almost always bring some food, water, and other simple essentials to give to those we meet. There have been times, however, that we lack the resources to give them. It hurts to tell them we cannot provide for their specific needs, but truth be told, our resources are limited as well.
Whenever we give anything to anyone, it implies that we have received it from another source. The main point of our street ministry, however, is not to give food to the homeless. It is to give what the human person longs for the most: relationship. We desire to show the invisible of society that they are seen, known, and loved as humans.
Yet, we cannot give that which we do not have.
Trying to love others is a good and noble thing to do. It is what we are called to do. But if we try to do it in our own way, in the way we think is best, we will end up hurting ourselves and the other in the process.
The best way to love is to receive from God first, the One who is perfect love. The Trinity is a relationship of Persons, incomprehensibly perfect. The Father eternally generates, loves the Son; the Son, eternally begotten, receives that love and returns it to the Father; and this love which proceeds, spirates from them eternally, is the Holy Spirit. (Yes, Trinitarian theology is quite the mystery, but the one thing to keep in mind in this case is LOVE.)
The question is, are we receiving God’s love for us first?
Many people we meet on the streets can be suspicious of us when we try to get to know them, and understandably so. They have been hurt time and time again, so much that even a simple “hello, how are you?” can be interpreted as a mask for ulterior motives. They believe the lie that they are targets for manipulation and violence, and couldn’t possibly fathom that they would be a worthy recipient of pure kindness. We never force friendship on them, but rather offer it with a simple, open hand. Sometimes they come to accept it, and as a result, reciprocate the relationship in that moment by opening their hearts. We can only hope after leaving, that we have planted a seed of truth in them, that they are worthy of love.
Perhaps many of us would say that we indeed accept God’s love, and His invitation of a relationship with us. And perhaps to an extent, we are correct; we know that God loves us—it's been drilled into us since we were children in Sunday school.
But because we are sinful, wounded beings, there are areas in our hearts where we have chosen to shut God out. We have very skewed perceptions of Him, and how He loves us. We think with all our sins and our imperfections that we are not worthy of His care. How then, are we supposed to truly live, when we try to give of ourselves the poor, but resist the transforming love that He offers?
One or both of these things will happen: a.) We will bleed ourselves dry as we give, give, give, but have no idea how to let others care for us, and/or b.) we will adopt a savior mentality, thinking that we can do it all in our own power, and end up hurting others—and eventually ourselves—in the process.
How do we “receive” God's love that we are meant to share? The first, and most obvious one is through prayer and the sacraments—particularly Reconciliation and the Eucharist. Here, we come to encounter the living God in very tangible ways. Here, we literally receive His unbounding mercy and His Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, and it is crucial that we allow these graces to infuse all parts of our lives.
The second is allowing God to love us through relationships with other people, as my spiritual director pointed out. If you’re like me, constantly worried about being a burden to others, it is time to put down this burden that we have placed on ourselves. Now it can be a matter of discerning which relationships God wants you to cultivate in order to receive as much life as possible, but even accepting simple acts of love and service from others in the day-to-day are just as important.
It is a good, human thing to desire to receive love. We were made for it. In practice, it can be an incredibly frightening thing, if we view ourselves only considering our imperfections. But again: we were made for it, as human beings created in the image and likeness of God who is Love itself. When we open our hands to Him, receiving that which He desires to give, we do not have to worry that He will run out. He’s God.
Hazel Jordan is an Office & Communications Assistant at Our Lady of Lourdes. She is currently pursuing a Master's in Theology at the St. Paul Seminary School of Divinity. A recent graduate of the University of St. Thomas, she continues to be active in the faith community there, leading and developing a street ministry program that forms students to encounter the homeless in the Twin Cities. Among other things, she is a self-taught artist and musician, proudly acquiring graphic design and guitar/songwriting skills!